Candy felt funny and awkward most of the time, like a yoga class fart. Christmas seemed to underline the point. Candy believed that the world wasn't as complicated as it was made out to be. She believed that the best way to chortle was most certainly through a snorkel, and for a clothes hamper to be handy, it must also be ample.
But when Aunt Carol commented on the french onion dip and chips Candy brought for Christmas dinner, Candy saw red—and green. In a sally of yuletide rage, Candy dropkicks the Christmas tree—stimulating a cascade of clinking bulbs, balls, and an angel that gracefully falls into the grog of Carol's cinna-mint egg nog.
To be continued...
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